"If love has been so beautiful and the bond between each other stronger than anything, this love will live on in our hearts forever"
My sweet modest girl my brave brown nose, my "Krokette Spekkenekke" your modesty and composure leaves a huge void in Casa di Coontastic and in our hearts.
It all started at the end of 2011 when I worked as a volunteer for the foundation that rescues dogs from the streets and killing stations in Spain. I was organizing ads to look for good homes when I started your story. I saw your picture and my heart broke, your eyes seemed to be without life and the pain you endured was so visible. You had been found by the roadside, badly injured from beatings and despite your pain you had given birth to your puppies on your own. All your energy had left your body but with the last bit of energy you had left you fed your pups while cars raced by and people didn't pay attention to you. It will be impossible to know what you felt in that moment, but that you have been in a lot of pain that is a fact! You are a hero my dear Princess, people have abused you, mistreated you and done the most horrible things to you, they probably left you with the idea that you would die. But you didn't die, instead you gave birth to miracle puppies and you were the best mother ever! And your rescue came, volunteers in Spain found you and brought you and your puppies to safety. Your visible wounds were taken care of, but the wounds that disgusting people inflicted on you spiritually would never fade. After I saw your picture you stayed on my mind and in my heart. Your puppies were all very quickly reserved and found warm homes, but you remained lonely in the shelter while your children moved 1 by 1. Until I realized in March 2012 that there is a reason that you stayed on my mind, maybe it had to be that no one responded to your "warm house wanted" advertisements. You belonged to me! And so I decided to let you come to the Netherlands and you went on a plane to the Netherlands on 25 April 2012 and I could take you in my arms! From this day on, the beautiful life began for you, the life you always deserved! Your gratitude for the smallest things, my dear girl, this warmed my heart every day! Everyone who met you at our home was enchanted when they looked into your eyes and experienced your calmness and something timid caution. You were a girl who was always there but had the gift of pretending to be invisible. The suffering you endured for the first few years of your life had exhausted you so much that it took you years to rest and that caused you to be in deep sleep most of the day. You could finally sleep peacefully without fear and you were the happiest when you were surrounded by the cats. They could do anything with you, you were so patient with them and you mothered them when they were kittens. A few years ago you suddenly started walking with difficulty and you collapsed through your hind legs. We suspected a hernia and also visited an osteopath several times. When we think back we realize that this has probably already been the start of something not right in your brain. Yet in the time after that you still went well and you were never really sick. What did happen was that you suddenly became very old in a short time, your beautiful tan color in your fur became very gray in a short time and your hearing also seemed to get worse. Sometimes we could hardly wake you because you were in such a deep sleep. Yet you still enjoyed it and especially when the cats were sleeping on and around you then you were at peace. How I am going to miss that, that image of your satisfied head covered under the fluffy cat tails. Girl maybe you have no idea how much of an impression you always made on me, you were and are so very special a miracle given by the most beautiful angels and I am so very sorry that you had to endure so much suffering in the first years of your life ! Gradually, old age crept into your body and probably something malevolent formed in your brain as well, causing you to experience certain fears on a daily basis that we could not get a grip on. We'll never know what exactly happened in your brain, but several times a day you started screaming out of the blue and walking around in a daze as if you didn't know where you were. In the beginning we were able to reassure you, but in the end these anxiety attacks became more and more frequent and you no longer seemed to respond to the reassuring touches from us. We have tried several medications in consultation with our vet, heavy painkillers had no effect, also special gel that calms animals and is also used by vets before an operation takes place had no effect. Lately you could no longer hold your stools and you became unclean. Several times a day and also in the nights you barked and the barking became louder and louder in sound and in addition to barking you also howled like a werewolf, a sound that broke our hearts because sometimes we had the idea that you might be in thoughts went back to the fresh first years of your life in which you went through so much pain and suffering.
And then the moment came, on the night of 20 April / 21 April 2022 i looked into your eyes and i felt it, the time had come to give you rest, these thoughts broke my heart because i didn't want to let go of you but when we see that the time has come we can't be selfish! On 25 April 2012 your real life started and you came into my arms and 10 years later on 21 April 2022 I had to let you go with a lot of sadness. Your date of birth is an estimated date because none of us know exactly when you were born. But what we do know is that you had 10 wonderful years with us where you could live in love without fear. I miss you terribly my brown Princess but it was a gift of heaven that you came into my life and that I have been able to enjoy your spiritual love and modesty for 10 years. You are in my heart and there you will live forever! Thank you my love for everything you have given me, for the insights, the loving life lessons and especially for your endless special hugs! I miss your nose against my hand and your submissive look in your eyes, in my mind I will kiss you on the nose every day and our love will live forever!